Say Goodbye

How do you say goodbye to someone you've never been with?

Who'd have thought that Little India could be so romantic?

We stood at the junction, listening, watching, imagining.
There were people all around us, cycling, walking by... even the strange guy with the transistor radio.

So foreign, so familiar.

I never felt so alone.

It was just a story. Some half-truths, some lies, loosely based on someone out there.

A fabrication.
Yet, it moved me.
I believed in it, even if I didn't believe it.

Two people, watching.
Two people, in love.
Two people, searching.
Two people, waiting.
Two people, longing.
Hoping.

Knowing
That they could never be.

Two people saying goodbye.

Driving Myself Crazy

Releasing the handbrake: The B-episode

Stepping on the accelerator, palms get sweaty: The nightmare in which 2 of my closest friends fell out with me because of this

Glancing at the rear-view mirror: Is my mom catching on?

It's the expressway to hell - 120km/h: The compulsive need to talk about/think about/talk to Mr X

Trying to get off this road: The guilt

Cars honking, headlights blinding, zooming past: The fear- that it's too late, that I'll get found out, that it's not right, that I'll crash

I can't get off, I can't get out.
The cars keep coming, not giving way.
I can't change lanes.
Maybe I don't want to.
I don't know.
Do I really need to change lanes?

Chicken or Egg

Which comes first?
My crush on you.
My insecurity.

Does my crush on you make me insecure?
Do I suddenly want to get attached because of my insecurity? Or because of my crush on you?

Do I tell you?
Do I wait till it all blows over then tell you?
Do I never ever tell?
Thankfully, this is a question that will never need to be answered. The only place I tell anything is here. And you don't know about here.

Differential Diagnosis

Heart palpitations
Pain
Sweaty palms
Increased heart rate
Shallow breathing
Insomnia
Nightmares

Diagnosis: Heart problems

She's dying.

I Wish You Love

"I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this
I wish you love

And in july a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love"
- Albert A. Beach, sung by Natalie Cole

I wish that you'd be happy with him,
But more than that...
I wish you Love.

Not just any kind of love,
That type of love is cheap.
But that you'd find out how much God loves you.
And that you'd be happy with Him.

Yeah Right

Day 1 of the addiction test: House 1, Elysa 0.

Just opened the floodgates.

Thrown caution to the wind.

Hecked it allllllllllll.

And you know what? Maybe it's not that big an issue.

Yeah right.

Shuddup.

Now I'm having conversations with myself. *Sigh*

I shouldn't think so much.

Enjoy while it lasts.

Yeah.

Right.