Burning Bush
On 11 Feb 2006, I realised that I want to go into full-time ministry.
I was so excited during the sermon, there was this weird stabbing pain in my heart. And, it's almost like you can't breathe, or that you're breathing too hard, or that you're breathing too much.
(Or maybe I just have a weak heart and don't know it yet.)
In any case, I kinda understand what Moses was probably going through when he saw the burning bush and suddenly heard God's voice.
Upon hindsight, maybe God was already preparing me to lead me to my "burning bush".
11 Feb 2006
8 a.m. - Nightmare about getting a call to go to work and having to miss cell group (made me realise how difficult it's going to be trying to serve God while keeping my day job)
10 a.m. - Eric and company come to my house for cell group (subconscious reminder of how I prefer my cell and my church, and how much I yearn to see the brothers and sisters in my church grow)
1 p.m. - Talking to Marcus (Reminder that God's with me all the time, even if I'm not aware of Him. Very encouraging! And comforting! And lovey-dovey. God loves me!!!)
2 p.m. - Discipleship (I teach lesson about how we are mere stewards. God gives us the resources. We just need to distribute them to the right people at the right time. Makes ministry so much less... difficult if you see it in that light, doesn't it?)
*The stupid thing about me is that I can even teach this stuff, but it doesn't sink into my brain/heart/whatever it is that connects me to God until much much much later. WHY AM I SO STUPID?
4 p.m. - WORD during cell ("If you wait for the perfect conditions, you'll never do anything" -One of Ps David's favourite things to nag us about from Ecclesiastes)
*Again, he's nagged about it for as long as I can remember, but it only sank in today. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
5:30 p.m. - Kaiqi tells me she's thinking of going full-time. (By the way, she's PERFECT for going into full-time. I don't even know why she's hesitating.)
7 p.m. - Marcus, Kaiqi and I talk nonsense. I talk rubbish about setting up a production house with Marcus so that we can come up with Christian TV programmes. (Which I almost immediately get 'scolded' by God for during worship. I can't even remember which worship song it was... but the impression that God was scolding me was just so real.)
7.15 p.m. - I spot Cherie and Venus and go over to talk to them. We pray before service starts. (I finally SEE the Holy Spirit working in someone through the very ordinary stuff I pray about. So freaky. I was like: "WHAT DID I DO? Why's she crying?" Then... I realised it had nothing to do with what I did, and everything to do with what the HOLY SPIRIT was doing. Cool, but still freaky nonetheless.)
8 something? p.m. - Mu Shi comes on, gives a BLASTING-SOLID, HYPERVENTILATING-WORTHY, HEART-ATTACK-INDUCING sermon.
He said: "God's Word cleans your heart."
He said: "Don't forget to rely on God to give you the victory."
He said: "Turn to God's word for instruction, cleansing, direction and discipline."
He said: "God wants you to guard your heart so that He can use you."
He said: "The smallest yearning you feel to respond to God/do something for Him can be used by God."
(Goosepimples and racing heartbeat and general freaking out)
That's a burning bush if I ever saw one.
I know that I want to serve Him.
I'm not saying that I'm not scared. I am.
I'm not saying that I think I'm ready. I'm not.
But I've got to serve Him.
He's an amazing God.
On 11 Feb 2006, I realised that I want to go into full-time ministry.
I was so excited during the sermon, there was this weird stabbing pain in my heart. And, it's almost like you can't breathe, or that you're breathing too hard, or that you're breathing too much.
(Or maybe I just have a weak heart and don't know it yet.)
In any case, I kinda understand what Moses was probably going through when he saw the burning bush and suddenly heard God's voice.
Upon hindsight, maybe God was already preparing me to lead me to my "burning bush".
11 Feb 2006
8 a.m. - Nightmare about getting a call to go to work and having to miss cell group (made me realise how difficult it's going to be trying to serve God while keeping my day job)
10 a.m. - Eric and company come to my house for cell group (subconscious reminder of how I prefer my cell and my church, and how much I yearn to see the brothers and sisters in my church grow)
1 p.m. - Talking to Marcus (Reminder that God's with me all the time, even if I'm not aware of Him. Very encouraging! And comforting! And lovey-dovey. God loves me!!!)
2 p.m. - Discipleship (I teach lesson about how we are mere stewards. God gives us the resources. We just need to distribute them to the right people at the right time. Makes ministry so much less... difficult if you see it in that light, doesn't it?)
*The stupid thing about me is that I can even teach this stuff, but it doesn't sink into my brain/heart/whatever it is that connects me to God until much much much later. WHY AM I SO STUPID?
4 p.m. - WORD during cell ("If you wait for the perfect conditions, you'll never do anything" -One of Ps David's favourite things to nag us about from Ecclesiastes)
*Again, he's nagged about it for as long as I can remember, but it only sank in today. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
5:30 p.m. - Kaiqi tells me she's thinking of going full-time. (By the way, she's PERFECT for going into full-time. I don't even know why she's hesitating.)
7 p.m. - Marcus, Kaiqi and I talk nonsense. I talk rubbish about setting up a production house with Marcus so that we can come up with Christian TV programmes. (Which I almost immediately get 'scolded' by God for during worship. I can't even remember which worship song it was... but the impression that God was scolding me was just so real.)
7.15 p.m. - I spot Cherie and Venus and go over to talk to them. We pray before service starts. (I finally SEE the Holy Spirit working in someone through the very ordinary stuff I pray about. So freaky. I was like: "WHAT DID I DO? Why's she crying?" Then... I realised it had nothing to do with what I did, and everything to do with what the HOLY SPIRIT was doing. Cool, but still freaky nonetheless.)
8 something? p.m. - Mu Shi comes on, gives a BLASTING-SOLID, HYPERVENTILATING-WORTHY, HEART-ATTACK-INDUCING sermon.
He said: "God's Word cleans your heart."
He said: "Don't forget to rely on God to give you the victory."
He said: "Turn to God's word for instruction, cleansing, direction and discipline."
He said: "God wants you to guard your heart so that He can use you."
He said: "The smallest yearning you feel to respond to God/do something for Him can be used by God."
(Goosepimples and racing heartbeat and general freaking out)
That's a burning bush if I ever saw one.
I know that I want to serve Him.
I'm not saying that I'm not scared. I am.
I'm not saying that I think I'm ready. I'm not.
But I've got to serve Him.
He's an amazing God.
posted by elysa at 9:11 AM
5 Comments:
hey!
you didnt make me cry...hahas. just...got something to do with school?
cherie.
Hey Elysa, I have been spying on your blog for a while, I am encouraged by your faith and your reflections. Continue in your walk and grow stronger in Him! I am praying for God to give you the determination to carry out this revelation He has given you. *hug* :)
I trust you remember me.. ;) Oh yes, I just met Chingling here at Cornell too, she's here on exchange. She was saved just 2 years ago! :)
Isn't it funny? Praise God! :)
Peixian
hey!
happy belated valentines!
lotsa love!
yo!
you still in fatuated with yourself?
;)
love, cherie
Peixian!!!
Wow... didn't know I was getting so much prayer support from you!
How cool to hear that Ching Ling was saved too!
:)
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