Crippled

I've never had to sit in a wheelchair. I've never been blind. I have fractured my right arm, though.

So I guess that makes me just about qualified to say that I hate the feeling of helplessness that seizes you when something you relied on is no longer there.

I was trying to pick my dog up when I fractured my arm. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.)

After I heard the crack, I was just unable to move.

Crippled.

I couldn't even articulate the problem. In that moment, the only sound I could here was the defeaning beat of my heart, hammering against my chest.

For a few weeks now, I have been struggling with the same feeling.

I heard the first crack when Pastor David said he'd stop coming to cell every week.

The second crack was when Weixian went over to the singles cell.

The third-when my brother said he didn't see a point in bringing his friends to our cell because there was nothing here to attract them.

Shucks. Suddenly, I just want to do what Elijah did in 1 Kings 19. Run for my life. Hide somewhere. Pretend I'm not the cell leader.

But, how can you run from God?

He caught up, of course. I was never much of a runner anyway.

So, first was Ying Sheng laoshi's cell sharing yesterday: God takes care of us, no matter what. He tells me what to do, and He guides my footsteps, step by step, all in that whisper of His.

Have you ever heard them say: "When you're blind, your hearing improves?"

I guess it did.

And for the whole time Ying Sheng laoshi was sharing, I sat up and listened.

Still, that wasn't enough to drive the point home. (God knows how dense I am.)

So, He sent another person.

"Why do you worry so much? It's His work, let Him do the worrying." (p.s. You were very shuai when you said that)

Ok, point taken. Thanks for that wakeup call, God.

But no... my God, He knows that I'm really really dense. He likes to hammer it in. All the way in.

So, the third time: "I don't care who your god is, but if this happened to you, God must know that you would be able to take it."
(This is from REAL-by the guy who wrote Slamdunk)

....

Does God speak through manga?????

Finally, the words of His Word: "It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." -- Philippians2:13

And Bill Bright: "Where is God when you need Him? He is with you, beside you, within you."

He's right there, holding up all the debris, even when all the pillars have crumbled.

He loves me. He really does.

Now, it's time to return a bit of that love.