Bus Dialogues
Elysa: Do you know why there are bad relationships?
Friend: Why?
Elysa: People are no longer entering relationships with the intention of marriage. Without this contract between them, the
promise that both parties will do their best to make this relationship work out, the relationship is doomed to failure.
People, when they are in relationships, are always waiting for someone better to come along before dumping their current boyfriends/girlfriends. People think that they can always get second chances with other relationships, and thus, refuse to make the effort to make their current relationship work out.
If we, then, legislate that no one should have more than one boy/girlfriend, and that person should eventually become one's spouse, this problem would be eliminated. People still have the freedom to choose the person whom they will spend the rest of their lives with. It would almost be like marriage, just extended to the period of courtship.
People would think more before committing to a relationship, before making promises they cannot keep and empty proclaimations of love.
This new ruling would ensure that the basis of relationships is not love, but committment.
Friend: But what about second chances? What if they find that they are incompatible?
Elysa: Can you grow to love someone, even if you don't love him now?
Friend (after considering): Yes.
Elysa: If they had already decided to enter the relationship in the beginning, I believe that they must have seen something, some quality about the person which convinced them to make their choices, something about the person which they love. If you can grow to love someone that you don't love now, what is to stop them from growing to love one another? In the age of arranged marriages, people didn't even know who their spouses were till the night of the wedding. If they could grow to love complete strangers, so can our couples today learn to grow to love their chosen partners.
Friend: What about second chances? What if I realised I made a mistake?
Elysa: You've made your choice, haven't you? Live with it. Blame your own myopia.
Friend: Don't people deserve second chances?
Elysa: Yes, they do. But it is not always possible to get second chances. This knowledge will make people choose their partners more carefully.
Elysa: Do you know why there are bad relationships?
Friend: Why?
Elysa: People are no longer entering relationships with the intention of marriage. Without this contract between them, the
promise that both parties will do their best to make this relationship work out, the relationship is doomed to failure.
People, when they are in relationships, are always waiting for someone better to come along before dumping their current boyfriends/girlfriends. People think that they can always get second chances with other relationships, and thus, refuse to make the effort to make their current relationship work out.
If we, then, legislate that no one should have more than one boy/girlfriend, and that person should eventually become one's spouse, this problem would be eliminated. People still have the freedom to choose the person whom they will spend the rest of their lives with. It would almost be like marriage, just extended to the period of courtship.
People would think more before committing to a relationship, before making promises they cannot keep and empty proclaimations of love.
This new ruling would ensure that the basis of relationships is not love, but committment.
Friend: But what about second chances? What if they find that they are incompatible?
Elysa: Can you grow to love someone, even if you don't love him now?
Friend (after considering): Yes.
Elysa: If they had already decided to enter the relationship in the beginning, I believe that they must have seen something, some quality about the person which convinced them to make their choices, something about the person which they love. If you can grow to love someone that you don't love now, what is to stop them from growing to love one another? In the age of arranged marriages, people didn't even know who their spouses were till the night of the wedding. If they could grow to love complete strangers, so can our couples today learn to grow to love their chosen partners.
Friend: What about second chances? What if I realised I made a mistake?
Elysa: You've made your choice, haven't you? Live with it. Blame your own myopia.
Friend: Don't people deserve second chances?
Elysa: Yes, they do. But it is not always possible to get second chances. This knowledge will make people choose their partners more carefully.
posted by elysa at 7:04 PM
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