Sibeh Suay

I'm not one to speak in Hokkien normally. Hokkien's usually reserved for the occasions where I am pissed off, or when I want to act like a cool ah-beng.

But I'd like to use Hokkien to express my.. shall we say, condolences to two dead beings I came across this morning.

Flattened frog: Ler jin suay la. Ler an zua hop on the ma lu. Ma lu um si ler eh lao beh eh, leh. Bo bian la.. ler too stupid. Ler eh lao bu buey ka ler kong buey sai play on ma lu ah.
(Translation: Poor frog, I guess you were just plain unlucky. But it's your own fault for hopping all over the road as though
your father owned it. There's nothing we can do if you were stupid enough to put your life on the line. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play on the road?)

Squashed snail: HAIIIIIIIIII......... ler kua la. Wa um si ka ler kong ler too slow? Ren jia kua ler buey song liao la.. step on ler liao la. Ler better not expect pity from me.

(Translation: Hai... you see? Didn't I warn you before that you were too slow? People get impatient, you know. When people get impatient, they squash those in their way. You'd better not expect any pity from me.)

Seeing dead animals first thing in the morning never fails to make my day. It's going to be a great day today.