24 Hours

Thursday, Oct 26
12:50am - No sign of you. My heart races every time MSN beeps. But it's not you. Not you again. Still not you.

1:50am - Did I miss you because I got disconnected and didn't realise it? No... you just didn't come.

2am - damnyoudamnyoudamnyou

2:15am - Phone beeps.

2:15 and a few seconds - It's not you.

10:30am - I wake up with a strange sense of... loss. I missed you so much I dreamt of you.

3:30pm - Should I sms? Nonono. Bad idea. But should I?

4:30pm - I want to call.

5:00pm - I see a cd. I buy it for you. Pass to you when I've ripped the songs to my com. (Yes, I'm a cheapo.) Will you like it?

5:30pm - Stop thinking about him, you loser.

6pm - I'm tired.

9:30pm - Suddenly, I miss you. Get out of my mind.

10pm - I miss you. Listening to love songs doesn't help. I try to smile. I think about what you said about my voice. Think about your smile. About your voice. About your hands. About your guitar.

10:30pm - Small talk doesn't take my mind off you. Sighs get smothered in a cabin full of strangers.

11:00pm - I despise myself. I remember what you said about paedophiles. Shame makes me weep. Small sobs that fellow pedestrains wouldn't hear.

11:10pm - I want so much to put it in Your hands. Yet, the only thing I can think of is: "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?"
What do I do now?

Friday, 27 October
12:00am - Watch tv.

12:20am - Tv's tasteless.

12:50am - Still not here.

1:04am - "Get a grip" has just signed in. Is this my sign from God?