Doctor, please give me an MC

Me: Doctor, I need an MC today.
Him: What's wrong with you?
Me: There's a persistent dull ache somewhere in my chest. Feels difficult to breathe. Something like heartburn, but slightly milder. I also don't really feel fit for work.
Him: Hm. (scribbles some notes)
Me: It gets slightly worse in the mornings and at night.
Him: Yes, it sounds like a case of loveygitis.
Me: Lovegitis?
Him: It is an infection of the heart, caused by an M-deficiency.
Me: Oh.. I was trying to self-medicate, I was taking quite a lot of Vitamin F(riend).
Him: Vitamin F does help, but it does not target the root cause. Previously, I would prescribe some Marcphine for the pain, but it's currently not available in Singapore.
Me: Darn. So what do I do?
Him: Well, loveygitis is not fatal, I suppose you just wait it out until the symptoms subside.
Me: Then do I get an MC?
Him: I'm afraid not. Getting distracted at work might actually help your symptoms.
Me: Darn.